Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
