I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
