did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize