You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize