So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
