Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
