yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
