i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Found the puke drawer
Woke up backwards on a recliner
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
