Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
