she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
