the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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