I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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