I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
