im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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