Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize