If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
