I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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