I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
