and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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