oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
