Screwed.edu
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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