You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
