Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
