this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
