every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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