It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
