sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
