I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
