that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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