new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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