you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize