I hate your face
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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