Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
