...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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