Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
