I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
