We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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