I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
