New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
