Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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