Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
