butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
