For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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