Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
