is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
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one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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