just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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