Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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