margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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