But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
