Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
