I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
