We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
