I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
