She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
