i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
