Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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