Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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