ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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