I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize