Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
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He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
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Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think my moral compass just broke
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize