so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He better not be in your backpack
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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