I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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