imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize