is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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