UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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